Thoughts for the Day

A soft answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger.
The tongue of the wise dispenses knowledge,
but the mouths of fools pour out folly.
The eyes of the Lord are in every place,
keeping watch on the evil and the good.
A gentle tongue is a tree of life,
but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.
A fool despises a parent’s instruction,
but the one who heeds admonition is prudent.
The lips of the wise spread knowledge;
not so the minds of fools.
The sacrifice of the wicked is an abomination to the Lord,
but the prayer of the upright is his delight...
The mind of one who has understanding seeks knowledge,
but the mouths of fools feed on folly.
All the days of the poor are hard,
but a cheerful heart has a continual feast.
Better is a little with the fear of the Lord
than great treasure and trouble with it.

(Lectionary, New Revised Standard Version)

Thoughts

We continue with proverbs about words and speech, including a proverb that is well-known: "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Placating someone who is angry is often seen as being weak, and all that matters to many in our world is that we are strong. So today we have an old story to help those who find it hard to control feelings of anger, even if that is kept internally and doesn't come out in actual words:

'Once upon a time there was a little boy who struggled not to get angry with other people when things go wrong. Finally, his father gave him some nails and told him to hammer a nail into the garden fence every time he lost his temper. The first week he had 22 nails in the fence, but as he learnt to control his feelings the nails got less. It was hard to hit the nails into the fence, and gradually he found it easier not to lose his temper. So there were less nails in the fence. Finally there were none! His father congratulated him and suggested that he remove a nail every day he managed to control his anger. Slowly, slowly all the nails were removed. Where there were nails now there were holes. It would never be the same. His father pointed out that just as the nails left a mark on the fence, so words said in anger can leave their mark. No matter how sorry we are, words can still leave a scar on us, and even worse, on the other person.

As Christians our Heavenly Father understands our frailty and forgives us when we confess our anger, but the scar is still there on our soul. However, every time we manage to 'give a soft answer' it will help us to build up resilience in the future so that when we are tempted we can think and offer a soft word.

Heavenly Father,
help us to learn to control
feelings of anger and frustration,
whether thought in our mind
or said aloud to others.
May we remember the story of the boy
and the fence
each time we are tempted to be angry.
Help us also to learn from each occasion
so that we can grow stronger
at controlling our emotions.
May we also be honest with You,
asking Your forgiveness and help.
Amen.